A Saturday at Lake of the Woods

A couple of weekends ago Rory and I went to Lake of the Woods - the park as she calls it - for a walk, to see some dogs, and to get some sun.  We started with a climb to the top of the watchtower to get a view of the spring landscape.  The Redbuds and apple trees were in full bloom and the Oak leaves were a light, almost green color.  I hadn't climbed the tower since I was a kid and Rory loves climbing stairs.  On our approach to these I heard an "up", which means I need to pick her up.  The view was spectacular, but Rory seemed more impressed with the structure of the watchtower itself, than the overlook of the lake, the trees, and sky.

On our climb down we discovered we weren't the only ones with this idea.  My friend Steve from the Vineyard and his friend Vicki were thinking the same thing.  Its funny because they hadn't been to the top of the tower for probably 25 years.  It was also a beautiful twist of fate.  They are both experienced, well-prepared parents.  They brought cameras and Steve packed a cooler full of ice cold cokes and a bag of pretzels, which my christian brother offered as well as some nice conversation.  Steve works for Coca Cola and has three children: 28 year old, 27, and 24.  He's went through a divorce two years ago and now offers support and encouragement to me and others as part of his healing process.  Being single again takes some work.  Vicki has also been through the big D and now owns her own business and was recently blessed with another grandchild.    

The sun was beaming and our chance encounter wasn't going to deter any of us from making the most of it.  Steve and Vicki brought fishing poles.  So after enjoying our snack we made our way to one of the park's ponds to do a little fishing.  Steve wasn't catching anything but a few small bluegills were gathering at the end of the dock, drawn in by Steve's lure.  We tossed them some crackers and watched eat as Vicki snapped some photos.  Rory is a brave little girl when it comes to water.  She sees a puddle and wants to step in it.  She sees a creek and wants to climb down into it.  If she had her way she'd have soggy bottoms at the end of our tromps through the woods.  On this occasion it would be a complete immersion. 

You know my image of a family always included husband, wife, children and grandparents.  These are the relationships I grew to know.  But my child will grow up in a different world.  She'll know mom and dad aren't married.  I'm uncertain how this will impact her adult life.  Maybe the relationships we have with others will be more important.  Maybe the marriages she does see work will inspire her.  I don't know, Rory will have to find her own way, with my support of course. 

Cheers,

Joel

  

God Bless Merciful and Patient Parents

Growing up in east-central Illinois, which has some of the richest agricultural soils in the United States, most of what you see is corn and soybean fields.  I think the exact number is 85 percent.  Prairie, which once accounted for a large portion of the landscape is now gone, less than 1% of 1% of the original prairie remains.  Although we ventured into the fields bordering three sides of the neighborhood, they were pretty boring.  What they lacked in interest they made up for in cash.  In Jr. High and High School I detasseled corn for 3-4 weeks in July.  Each of our 4 man crew made over $100 a day pulling tassels and deroguing.  To say its a pleasure wouldn't be sarcastic, its just plain dishonest.  But, by the time I entered college I had almost $20,000 I'd saved from the detasseling and mowing lawns.   

What I really craved as a young child was exploration and adventure that the corn fields couldn't fullfill.  So the neighborhood boys, my brothers and I played in a small stream which was damed to form a small lake and then continued on through and out of the neighborhood.  At some age, I was probably 5 we became brave enough to follow the stream under the road and into the deep woods.  Around every little bend we turned, into every pool we jumped, and across every fallen tree we walked.  We dared each other onward after school many times over the course of several years.  Under the densest knot of vines and over piles of deadfall we crawled slowly out of range of the dinner bell.  A 1 foot diameter cast iron bell that was bolted to the top of a 4x4 post outside of the laundry room.  When my mom pulled the rope, the bell rocked until it hit the piece of iron hanging suspended in the middle.  If you've ever been a bell boy at church you know how it works.  The harder you pull the louder it rings.  It's sound could be heard while playing inside a friends house, which was a ten minute walk away.  The stream slowly becomes wider, its banks steepen, and it's turns broaden until it reaches the Sangamon River.  Mile after mile of old growth, floodplain forest extended both upstream and downstream from our little tributary. 

Thank you mom and dad for only scolding us, "wash up and change your clothes".  So many evenings we were late for dinner.  Only now do I realize and appreciate how patient and merciful you were.     

Background

This blog is about parenthood, both from my perspective as a son and now as a father.  I was blessed to be born into a family with a strong father and nurturing mother.  They worked together to protect their boys and prepare us for adulthood.  They took opportunities that would teach us things even when it pushed us and even them near exhaustion.  They encouraged us to be seek opportunities to learn from other leaders in the community as well.   They praised us when we were successful and disciplined us when we failed to do our best.  (from left: me, Brent, & Aron)

As I watched my daughter grow from an infant to a toddler over the past few months I learned that encouragement, praise, and discipline came naturally to parents and kids respond honestly.  My daughter, Rory, was persistent.  She clapped her hands with me when she made a step and fell to her bottom, and gives me a serious look or a mischevious grin when I say NO!   I make the most of the time I see her, I don't let myself be distracted by other things.  I focus on her and pay attention to what she wants.  Mostly she likes reading books, playing ball, drawing lines, dancing, and going outside to look for dogs and pointing out wildlife, and of course - napping. (from right: Rory & me)

Occasionally, I get to pick an activity or two.  So, while talking with a local, non-profit, Prairie Rivers Network, the coordinator and I came up with a project that would be useful for the both of us, a detailed list of ten things parents can do with young children relating to water.  Here is a brief summary of the activities.

Outdoor Activities                                                Rainy Day Activities

1)  Geocaching                                                       1)  Playing Water Games Online

2)  Trout Fishing                                                     2)  Reading a Children's Book About Water

3)  Making A Backyard Wildlife Habitat                  3)  Testing Tap Water Quality

4)  Paddling One of Illinois' Rivers                           4)  Measuring Household Water Consumption

5)  Searching For Fossils in a River Bank                5)  Writing a Letter to a Local Representative

Over the next six months I'll try to do as many of these as possible, some with my daughter, others with a group of older people.  Prior to each activity I'll describe the details and what I hope to get out of it.  I'll follow up with some pictures and reflection. I have done all of these activities before, but this time I will raise the ante by writing about it.  I will try to make some keen observations, reflect on past experiences, and hopefully motivate you to get out and do it.

Cheers,  Joel